I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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