We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
