oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
