"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
