How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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