My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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