singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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