Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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