doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
In America we eat man semen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
