It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
