Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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