Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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