No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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