dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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