This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
