Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
