It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
