Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
