Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
