well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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