if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
