Christians are straight up FREAKS
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
