all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am one with the molecules
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
