I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
