It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
