He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
