He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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