She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
