I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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