So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
