Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
