College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
