the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
