SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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