I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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