her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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