she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
