you guys were way drunker than both of me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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