Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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