Dual....:-)
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
