remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
