It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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