You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
