And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
