can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
