Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
