Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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