he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I will be naked everywhere
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
