Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
