I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
