It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
