I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
